Chasing my dreams has been an important aspect of finding myself and nurturing my own wellbeing. As much as I dearly love being a mother, I’m not afraid to admit that I yearn for more. I’m a dabbler. I’m a learner. I’m a helper. I love people and I love creating. And doing what I do allows me to heal with words. That’s why I write. And ultimately I guess I’m happiest when I’m doing all that stuff that makes me me; outside of being a mother whilst also being a mother.
One thing I’ve struggled with since becoming a mum is finding my thing. Rediscovering who I really am has been a journey in itself. You see, before having kids, I spent a lot of time living a life that I thought that I wanted to be living, doing what I thought I should be doing. I naively thought that I’d be living in ignorant bliss once I had the job, the car, the guy, the house, and the kids.
I moved overseas when I was 19. I was holidaying in Europe after deferring uni and I happened to meet a lovely waiter in a restaurant in Florence. This year we celebrate our ten year wedding anniversary. In the years I lived in Florence I remember feeling free. I loved the lifestyle, the culture, the freedom and the friendships. In this happy space, I naturally gravitated back to my passion of writing. I started writing about my sweet life in Italy. I started writing for magazines. I was in tune and in the flow. Homesickness eventually got the better of me and after a few moves between countries we found ourselves back in Australia. It was then that I started taking jobs for the sake of paying the bills and fell into careers that I enjoyed and was good at but didn’t feed my soul. So by the time I fell into mothering, I’d lost touch with the real me. I became hybrid work at home, stay at home, juggle it all kind of mum, and later the career mum. I was switched onto autopilot/survival mode, and it’s only been in the last couple of years that I’ve taken the time to rediscover myself. I thought I was ready for motherhood but I guess the more I think about it I think nothing can adequately prepare us for the job it is.
It is so easy to be consumed by our parenting and family responsibilities, that when we add work responsibilities to the mix there is very little left to give ourselves. Heck, there is very little left to give ourselves when even if we aren’t working. Which is, I suppose, one of the reasons I feel so strongly about keeping that part of you alive – the things that feed your soul and make your heart sing aside from your little people (or person).
I’ve learnt that I must make the time to nurture myself; because when I’m happier and more balanced, my wellbeing and awesomeness radiates out to those around me. I find the energy I never thought I had. I inject passion into every job I do. It’s not just about slipping in a massage or a pamper session every couple of months. It’s about living life honouring yourself as the woman that is the mother. She can have passions and goals and dreams and loves.
One thing I love about being a writer is the lens through which I see life. I notice smells and expressions, feelings and noises. I begin to capture moments and capturing these present moments nurtures my wellbeing.
And what I love about coaching is the transformation and the renewed passion for life I help facilitate in others. In my coaching I seem to mainly attract mothers {with dreams or businesses or both} as clients. Some have a seed of an idea that they want to nurture into something bigger and some need help finding that seed. It took me a while to find my seed. And it’s taking time to nurture the garden. But it’s blossoming and we can all blossom. Even if we’re mothers. Being in full bloom; in the flow; is a special place to be in. It’s beautiful, natural and comfortable. It’s a happy place to be in. We can gift ourselves the best of both worlds; it’s just about connecting with what it is that we need for ourselves and then we bring that into our lives, step by step, bit by bit.
What do you think? Are you chasing your dreams or following your own passions? If not, why? Talk to me… I love to chat. x
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I really agree that it’s so important to dedicate time and space to just being yourself, outside of the motherhood gig. For me, that’s meant rediscovering meditation and yoga and I’ve found that the lessons I learn through my ‘me time on the mat’ invigorate me to be a better mother than before I made time for me. I’ve found that motherhood has actually brought out my ambitious side – I want to show my boys how important it is to follow your dreams x