Mindfulness and meditation plays a big part in my wellbeing and has helped me immensely. The ability to stay centred in awareness is something I’ve had to consciously practice, but the benefits have been worth it. I attribute starting out on my spiritual and mindfulness path due to two books I came across. I can’t quite remember how or why, but a copy of Deepak’s The Spontaneous Fulfilment of Desire ended up in my possession a long time ago and something clicked for me. From there, other books of his began to fill my shelves and my thirst for learning more about Ayurveda and a deeper understanding of consciousness was sparked. Deepak is the bestselling author of a multitude of books, including The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success for Parents, The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, Magical Beginnings Enchanted Lives. Deepak will be speaking at Melbourne’s Hay House’s I Can Do It! events and I’m super excited about hearing him speak. He’s been kind enough to share an article on “The Conscious Lifestyle: Awareness Skills – Staying Centred” with us.
These are skills that anyone can learn – and benefit from – even though people casually use “consciousness” and “awareness” in a fuzzy way. Being aware isn’t passive. It’s an action that takes place mentally, and if that action doesn’t take place, you can be awake without actually applying much consciousness. To illustrate, we can begin with the most basic awareness skill, being centered. The experience of many actors and singers is that they suffer from terrible stage fright until the moment they walk on stage, when suddenly they fall into a groove – despite their nerves, great performers like Olivier and Pavarotti, two notable sufferers from stage fright, showed total command of their art before the public. What causes such an instantaneous transformation? A combination of things:
- They became self-possessed.
- Nervousness turned to calmness inside.
- A practiced skill took over, as if on its own.
- They found themselves totally focused in the moment.
These are the ingredients of being centered. The last one is probably the most important. Before a performer steps on stage, there’s no demand to be present, to live in the moment. This gives wiggle room for nerves, queasiness, pacing back and forth – all signs of distraction. But to sing or act before an audience demands that you be present; it’s make or break. If your mind/body knows this, and if you have learned through repetition to meet the demand of the present moment, getting centered comes automatically.
Most leaders are performers, too – besides public speaking, they are called upon generally to set their personality aside in order to meet the demands placed by other people. A writer who had long-term access to President Obama remarked on how skillfully the president had learned to shift his personal manner as he moved from one event to the next. In an hour’s span he might be called upon to meet with grieving families after a catastrophe, discuss policy with his cabinet, welcome a new appointee, and hold a news conference. Obama remarked that this quick-change didn’t come naturally to him. He isn’t by nature a performer. But he has trained himself – as every President must – to encompass a job with many facets. How should you train yourself to be centered? First, take an objective look at the traits you’d see in someone who is very good at it already. Such a person
- Puts his entire attention on the job at hand
- Makes other people feel as if they have his entire attention while talking to him (a typical remake: “He made me feel for those five minutes that I was the most important thing he had to attend to that day.”)
- Remains calm in the midst of crisis and chaos.
- Rises to her best under pressure.
- Absorbs new information quickly.
- Keeps his self-possession.
- Doesn’t retreat from the moment.
- Isn’t easily distracted.
- Finds it easy to stay in the flow.
Once you honestly rate how well you are doing, the question is how to improve. First, stop doing the opposite things, which defeat being centered.
Don’t multi-task. Focus on the moment at hand.
Resist being distracted. Close the door, turn off the phone, and have your computer screen go black if you are talking to someone who needs your attention.
Don’t use discussions in a one-sided way, as a sounding board for yourself. Others can tell when you aren’t interested in them, and one of the surest signs is silent impatience while you wait for them to quit talking.
Avoid obvious signs of a lack of interest, such as tapping your pencil, fidgeting, interrupting others before they finish, glancing out the window, etc.
Don’t isolate yourself in a private space when talking to others. Instead of sitting back behind your desk with your arms crossed, join the other person and lean into them while they talk.
Don’t scatter your attention randomly. Manage your mental time efficiently, so that you can be alone for serious thinking and share your mind at other times without feeling that you are being pulled away from what you’re interested in.
Avoiding these missteps and bad habits will go a long way. But you also need the positive experience of being centered. It begins when you are alone. In a quiet place, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and go inward. Place your attention on your heart, in the center of your chest. Sit quietly and easily let your attention remain there. If it is pulled away by random thoughts, recenter as soon as you notice what has happened. After a few minutes open your eyes. For the next half hour or so, observe yourself to see if you remain centered. Don’t instantly throw yourself into external demands.
Deepak Chopra will be speaking at Melbourne’s I Can Do It! 2013 event . Visit www.hayhouse.com.au for more information and tickets.
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